Friday, May 22, 2015

Should I start using my life and stop playing in home?

source: Google images 

I received this question a lot of times:

Aga, are you planning to go to school or to find a job?

Of course, I don't mind this question itself - I don't look for anything behind it because in most cases I don't even know people who asked me that. Also, a curiosity is a normal thing and I always say that you can ask whatever you want and I'll answer if I feel like it or/and have a knowledge about something. Since this is something that keeps coming back and I'm pretty sure I'll see it later too, I decided to talk about this in this post. It's an interesting subject.

No, I'm not planning to go to school and no, I'm not looking for a job. First of all, even if I wanted, I can't - I don't have a student status and I don't have a work authorization. I still can go and take courses according to my au pair program but I don't want to.

Generally, in Poland there's this not written rule that everyone should study. Doesn't matter what - if your studies are interesting for you or not - you should study because you have to have some profession and some job. This is the way it is and this is not to discuss. If someone doesn't study then he's stupid and if he doesn't have a final exam (of choice or not, doesn't matter) then he's an idiot and he lost his life. If someone doesn't grow and doesn't study - necessarily at school because other ways don't count! - is a complete deadbeat and failure, that's all. And this isn't my imagination but things I've seen in different places.

It also happens that I hear things like: Aga, you're so young! or You still have time to play in home! Who says I play anything? I also hear: You should use your life now! What does it mean, anyway?

Not it's time to explain my situation at the moment (highlights - right now, it might change in the future... or not, I don't know).

I'm 23 years old so I confirm I'm very young. I didn't study in Poland, I had a job. Right now I don't study and I don't work and I don't look for a job. I do grocery shopping, our laundry and then fold it or hang it. And what's more, it relaxes me! I clean the house (we don't have cleaning people anymore - I prefer to do it by myself and I don't like it when strangers touch my stuff) and I keep things in order and I want my family to do the same. I sometimes even cook and bake and it's getting better. I take care of Alicia and I play with her - she informed me: from now on I'll call you only mom, not Aga!  I know where important documents are, like Nathan's passport and he even doesn't know where it is. I know where our toothpicks are, where we have a mixer and which cloth is to clean dust and which one to clean mirrors. Moreover, I go to my dance classes at least 3 times a week, I'm about to start jogging in the mornings, I write my blog, I read a lot and I learn things I want to by myself. I also find time for friends, to watch two tv series (there'll be one more in fall) and sleep!

And do you know what's the best thing? I love it! It happens of course that I'm tired, that something irritates me, that we also have some problems - I'm not gonna hide it doesn't happen. I also have some crisis sometimes when I think that why I'm doing all these things by myself!!!!, which is a human thing - at least I think so. But I'm not alone so if I need help, I get it. I really like the feeling that I take care of my home, my family and myself. I've never felt this "family warmth" in my life before so I always dreamed of creating my own; to greet my husband with a dinner when he comes back home from work; to have children which love me; to be someone who others can count on... I never wanted to have a great job where I go to wearing a suit and to climb the carrier ladder. I preferred to be home with children and do all these things I told you about already. To be honest, I don't see anything wrong with this. I don't feel like I'm a failure, dunce or anyone like that. I'm not ashamed about my life because this is the life that makes me happy and I'm going to continue living like this bringing some changes from time to time.

And what are my plans for the future? I don't want to talk about this for now but I'll tell you when the right time comes!

So, since I said it already, let me now go to unload my dishwasher ;-)

Talk to you next time!

PS. The question in a title of this post is a rhetorical question! :-)
PS2. I'm planning on making some changes on my blog...
PS3. Also, if any of you didn't see a part 3 of active listening posts, feel free to check it out HERE and the whole list of posts in this series is HERE.

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